LET THERE BE SPACE!

Bear with me while I reflect a little:) Do you ever look back at a hard time in your life and reflect on a decision you made? Sometimes you wish you had taken a different path and sometimes you realize that a power greater than yourself led to to the right one? I remember reading some of the philosopher Immanuel Kant in college. He suggested that at a crossroads a person can make a choice simply by not choosing. That is often how I felt after my appointment with first appointment with a neurosurgeon on January 6, 2003. I knew as of that day that surgery, very scary surgery, was in my future. I also knew I wouldn't trust him to remove an ingrown toenail. I spent the next 3 months calling doctor after doctor trying to find a neurosurgeon who had even heard of Basilar Invagination, let alone one who knew what to do now. When came to the realization that there were no good choices in Denver, I stopped trying. I gave up on hope of any help other than medication. Then, Dr. O moved to Denver and everything became crystal clear. It was meant for me to wait for him. I know to my core that by choosing to wait, I had made, or been influenced to make, the right choice.

Now, the good news. Bobby, Billy Bob and I saw Dr. O yesterday and yes, there is SPACE! I knew from Dr. O's description of the procedure that there was a lot of bone and other "stuff" removed to give my brain more room, but it was a whole other thing to see it on an MRI. "Things" feel different in there, but it was rather freaky to have a visual to go with how I feel now. Dr. O explained that the positive cognitive changes are directly connected to the flow of the spinal fluid. He said my progress was right where he expected and to not be discouraged in regard to the continuing headache. The focus now should be moving on with life. I admitted to him that I have felt like such crap for so long that I don't remember what I used to like to do.

When Bobby first stopped drinking he said he was struggling with how to reinvent himself. I think I know what he means.....

For the first time y'all are hearing from me directly. I hope I can be half as entertaining and informative as Bobby. Forgive me if I repeat him from earlier posts. Life is getting somewhat back to normal. As normal as life can be for someone with Chiari 0, platabaysia, basilar invagination and ehlers danlos syndrome. Didn't realize how much I appreciate driving for myself. Access-a-ride was a great service, but there is nothing like going where you want, when you want and with whom you want. I feel like I have lost 2 summers in a row. When I went in the hospital it was spring, when I got out it was full on summer. Now that I am back to work fall is just around the corner. I went back part time on Monday and hope to be up to full time by the end of August. When I got home from working 4 hours I slept for 2. My coworkers have been more supportive than anyone could hope for. The headache continues...and continues...and continues. The doc says he is not supprised, be patient. Other than being headache free I don't know what else to wish for. Progress for rest thus far...well...the right foot and left hand have begun to get the train with the rest of me and not have minds of their own. The world famous Dr. O suggested I start knitting to help get the left hand on board I had to tell him I had already started this last year when she was doing more and more her own thing. Another MRI, I have lost track of how many this makes, and another doctor appt on Monday the 13th. Cross you fingers and continue those prayers and positive thoughts, I can use every one :)